HI, NAME’S WALLY WILSON WALTERS THE NINTH AND I CAN HIT EM. I BAT 9TH WITH A .999 AVERAGE. HOMERS, I GOT 99 OF THEM. GOT 9 RINGS TOO. 9 PINSTRIPES ON MY OUTFIT TOO. PLUS I WEAR NO. 9. I LIVE ON BEER AND CRACKER JACKS. SAVE ALL THE PRIZES, GOT 999 OF THEM. BUT IT WASN’T ALWAYS THAT WAY. I USED TO RIDE THE BENCH ALL THE WAY FROM CALIFORNIA TO TORONTO. THEY CALLED ME, “WALLY WON’T HIT IT.” BUT NOW, I AM PROVING THEM ALL WRONG. THE STANDS ARE FULL OF FANS CHANTING “WALLY WILL HIT IT.” SQUIRELS IN TRASH CANS HOLDING PEANUTS SING IT TOO. AND HIT THE LONG BALL I DO. 999 FEET TOO. I BREAK ALL THE RECORDS AND THE FANS HEARTS TOO. I SIGN AUTOS WITH A 9 AT THE END AND I RIDE A SCHWIN WITH A KICKSTAND TO WORK, GOT A PICTURE OF JAMES DEAN STUCK IN THE SPOKES. SHOULD BE MARILYN BUT I AM BROKE. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, BRAT?